Today, for the first time since transitioning to his big boy bed, Aaron got up before going to sleep. I thought it might be only a matter of time before he used his new found freedom to get out of bed when he didn't want to sleep, but he's been so good the last 12 days that I hoped we wouldn't have to deal with it.
When Kim put him down before leaving, he as a little amped up, but that's not completely unusual when he's tired. But after his music box turned off, he was still awake (not usual at nap time). He was making some noise, but not much. Then after a couple of minutes, he came out of his room. I had a slight sense of dread at that moment, realizing I was going to have to deal with this for the first time and I had no backup.
I checked to make sure he hadn't pooped (something that will keep him from going to sleep) and told him it was nap time. He began running around his room and started grabbing dirty clothes from his hamper and throwing them on the floor. Since I'm 8 months pregnant, I'm hesitant to just grab him when he's like that for fear he'll thrash around and hurt the baby. But after a moment, realizing I couldn't let the situation escalate, I picked him up (he fortunately didn't fight me), and took him to the bathroom to check his diaper. I was pretty sure it was still clean, but sometimes going through the pre-nap motions again can help "reboot" him. Then I carried him back to bed and gave him his pacifiers. He was protesting the whole time.
Predictably, he continued to leave his room. After the first incident, I called Kim for advice. He came out of the room and was crying while I was trying to talk to her, but I did manage to hear the essence of her advice (which I already knew, but I needed a pep talk in the heat of the moment). She said to keep putting him down. Not to answer his questions or make eye contact. Just put him back down matter-of-factly and tell him good night. She said it might take 5 times or it might take 10. And he'd probably pitch a fit.
So I put him down, over and over. He was crying and protesting, but fortunately not physically fighting me too much. It took about 5-10 times. I stood in the hall outside his room or across the hall and he was pretty much getting up right away. He'd come out and run right to me, letting me pick him up, but also letting me put him back to bed, despite crying. Each time I told him it was nap time, covered him with his blanket, and said "good night".
Eventually he stopped coming out of his room. After a few minutes, I began to hope he was going to stay down, but then I heard coughing. It sounded like it does sometimes when he's throwing up, so I peeked in on him, worried he'd try to get out of bed again. But he didn't even raise his head when I went in. And he helpfully explained by saying "Coughing." I said "OK. Have a good nap." and closed the door. By the time the music ended again, he was asleep.
Even though the whole episode lasted less than 30 minutes, maybe less than 20, I can see how easy it would be to give up. It was hard to put him back down with him crying and trying to talk to me. And each time he got up, I thought he'd never stay in bed. I even considered going to our afternoon play date early and just giving up on his nap. But then I realized I'd be setting a very bad precedent. By being firm, I have hopefully convinced him that he's not going to get out of taking his nap. At the very least, I avoided rewarding undesirable behavior which never leads to any good. I'd say I miss the crib, but the fact is we'd have this battle at some point. I'm not sure it would be easier when he's older.
Although this is the first time he's gotten up on his own without going to sleep, after only about a week in his new bed, he started getting himself up on his own in the morning. And around 6 - 6:15am which was early for us. Although we don't like getting up that early, it's not so early that we felt it was necessary to get him to sleep later. But we hoped to at least convince him to stay in bed until we come get him. The first time it happened, we let him be awake for 15 - 20 minutes before going to get him. He got impatient and came out on his own. The next time, he was only awake a few minutes before coming out and the third time he had barely woken up before we heard his little toddler feet hit the hardwood floor of the hallway.
Each time, one of us went down there and told him he should wait for Mama or Dada to come get him. We took him back in his room, and sometimes even back in his bed telling him that next time he should call out to us and we'd come get him. This morning, though, he slept in until almost 7am. We were already up (having now gotten used to waking up closer to 6am) and when we heard him wake up, we went to get him pretty quickly. We said "Good morning! Thank you for waiting for us to come get you. Good job!" Not sure it will work, but we'll see.
Our next plan would be to allow him to play in his room until we come get him, if not stay in his bed. But since most of his toys are now stored in his closet and we lock the closet doors at night (they are bi-fold doors which are good for pinching fingers), there's not much to play with besides the animals in his bed and the dollhouse.
We'll let you know if we have any success.
BTW, over the weekend we accomplished a lot of nesting. We moved our computer desks down to the master bedroom, turned the office into the nursery, and finally moved the crib out of Aaron's room. I hope to post pictures of the changes soon. Only a few big ticket items remain to be done before Audrey arrives, such as getting the infant car seat installed (which means moving Aaron's car seat from the center seat) and setting up the port-a-crib in our room, where hopefully Audrey will spend her nights the first couple of months if she's not as noisy a sleeper as Aaron was. Sometimes I think that Aaron's good sleep habits (today notwithstanding) are so good because he pretty much always slept in his crib in his room so he never had to deal with transitioning from one room to another or from a bassinet to a crib. But even if Audrey sleeps in our room at night, I plan to put her down in her crib during the day so she is used to that space as well.
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