Bedtime

For about a week, maybe 6 weeks ago, Audrey slept through the night. Not just midnight to 5am, which is technically sleeping through the night, but I was sleeping through the night. But she stopped that and started waking up again at night. Sometimes just once, often twice, and on bad nights, she might wake up 3 times, but at least one of those times might be before I go to bed. She's still young and as long as she goes back to sleep between feedings, it's not a problem for me at all.

The worst part was she started having a hard time going down to bed. Maybe 3 weeks ago, I got tired of walking her around and just put her in her crib while I went to get in my pajamas and give my arms a rest. She was awake, but not crying, so I didn't go back to her. She put herself to sleep within about 20-30 minutes. I was excited. I thought we'd reached a turning point and wouldn't have to help her get to sleep anymore.

But it ended up just being that one night. I found myself more and more having to walk her around at bedtime, between 7 and 7:30pm. She'd eventually fall asleep only to wake up again between 8 and 8:30, quickly escalating into full out crying. Thom would try to comfort her but after 10 minutes of her getting more and more upset, I'd give in and nurse her - a habit I don't want to get into.

At the same time, Aaron was having a hard time going to bed, too. After dinner, almost every night, he has to poop. He usually plays at his kitchen and goes. (He says he is making french toast. Thom said he doesn't want any of that french toast.) He has a bunch of bottles and spice containers and he has a routine with his kitchen playing and he wants to finish up before getting ready for bed and didn't like to stop half-way through. But he will also stall big time. It was to the point where he'd be melting down about 75% of the time before bed when we told him it was time for a diaper change and pajamas. He'd say he had "more poop" even though we were pretty sure he didn't. Thom was getting frustrated with him.

Between the two of them, I started to dread bedtime. It was stressful with Audrey crying, with Aaron having meltdowns, or just not listening to Thom when they were getting ready for bed. We tried taking away some of Aaron's bedtime stories - he normally gets 3, but bad behavior would cut that down to 2 or even just 1. At first this was some incentive because he hated to lose a story. After losing one book, he'd usually do much better the next night. But then he'd start whining in the bathroom after doing something he shouldnt' have done: "Want three stories!" Over and over and over.

But then 2 things happened. One day, after a bad bedtime routine with Aaron, I spoke to him after nap time when I changed his diaper. I said that if he sat still like he was with me when Papa changed him at bedtime, Papa would be happy. (One of the issues is that he'd squirm and put his feet on Thom during a poopy diaper change.) Later that evening, Thom and Aaron went to the store and Thom had a talk with him, too. He explained that he doesn't like to get mad at him and that they needed to work together to get ready for bed. So that night went very smoothly. And things started to go better.

But Aaron was still often reluctant to go get ready for bed in the evening. This is where I have Kim to thank. We have a digital kitchen timer. Months ago, it went off for something while Aaron was pooping before nap time and Kim told Aaron it was a timer for him and said "Oh, there's the timer. Time to change your diaper!" And he went willingly. So a few weeks ago, she set it for him intentionally when he was stalling and told me how well it worked. So we started setting the timer at night when Aaron kept saying he had more poop. The timer is MAGIC! The timer goes off, he announces it's time to change his diaper and trots off to the bathroom. Some nights, he even tells us to set the timer. I love the timer. Aaron still acts up during the bathroom routine, but he generally does pretty well. I worry the magic of the timer will wear off, but it's been working for 2 weeks or so.

So then the only issue was Audrey. She kept waking up not long after we got Aaron down and more often than not, I'd end up nursing her to get her back to sleep. I thought she might be teething since she drools so much and is often chewing on her fingers. And she probably is teething, but I don't think that is what wakes her up. I had a breakthrough with her this week. On Thursday, she took 2 naps in the morning of about 45 minutes (her average). Then Kim put her down at 2 right before she left for the day. She stirred at 2:45pm and I was expecting to go get her. She rarely sleeps past 45 minutes, even though she wakes up tired. Generally, in the afternoon, I'd get her, come back to my computer to work, and let her fall asleep in my chest while I worked one-handed. But that day, she didn't wake up. She ended up sleeping until 4:30pm! A daytime record.

That evening, I got her ready for bed around 6:30pm before I fed her. Then I held her on my lap during dinner and jiggled her. She fell asleep at the table, no fussing at all. I put her down in her crib and she slept until 1:30am. I figured it couldn't be coincidence. The way she'd been acting at bedtime was like she was overtired. The long nap seemed to give her the sleep she needed and she was able to go to bed and stay asleep. So on Friday, I stayed in and put Audrey down for 2 naps in the morning and she took a longer nap in the afternoon again. And she went to sleep easily. On Saturday, same thing. She did have a harder time going to sleep last night, but I ended up putting her in bed awake and she put herself to sleep. And stayed asleep.

I don't know if she just turned a corner on the sleep train and can now take longer naps which keeps her from getting overtired. But I suspect that since I or Kim often take her and Aaron out in the morning, she ends up just catnapping in the car and not getting good morning naps since she'd wake up when she got out of the car. So after the experience Thursday, I've made her naps more of a priority. I let her get her first morning nap yesterday before taking her and Aaron to a story time, and then when she fell asleep in the car on the way home, I let her finish her nap in her carseat in her bedroom. Whatever it is, I hope this trend continues. Because for the last 3 nights, bedime hasn't been stressful and it's been nice.