Overall I'm happy with the balance between work and family that I've created by working part-time from home. Some days I feel very competent, like the "super-woman" that all moms feel they are supposed to be. Other days I'm not only sure I'm done having kids, but wondering if I'm capable of dealing with the ones I have.
Here is what a good day looks like:
I wake up before Audrey, grab a shower and some coffee. I play with Aaron, get Audrey up and feed her, have some breakfast and Kim arrives. I clean up the kitchen before starting work. Maybe even throw in a load of laundry. I get a lot of work done, remember to eat lunch before I get too hungry, and Kim gets both kids down for a nap before she leaves. Aaron sleeps until 4pm or later; Audrey naps at least 2 hours (this has only happened 3 times). I continue working while they nap and reach a good break point before Audrey wakes up. I play with Aaron and Audrey after their naps and then Aaron entertains Audrey and/or himself while I prepare dinner. Thom comes home just as dinner is ready. Dinner turns out really good and Thom has 3 helpings. Audrey goes to sleep easily (this has only happened a handful of times) and Aaron is pleasant at bedtime. Both kids are in bed by 8pm and Thom and I have some time to relax in front of the TV. All feels well with the world.
A bad day goes more l like this:
It's not a Kim day. A play date falls through. We find something to do last minute, but we get home late for naptime and Aaron stalls until he has a meltdown from being so tired. Audrey cries while I get Aaron ready for his nap. I'm starving because I forgot to pack a snack. If Audrey does go down for a nap before I get Aaron down, she wakes up as soon as he's down. Otherwise, she takes a short nap. On a really bad day, Aaron doesn't nap at all (very rare fortunately). I hardly get any work done and I'm so exhausted mentally from not having a long enough break from both kids that I have no dinner plan by the time Thom comes home and we end up fending for ourselves after we get Aaron to bed. I try to get Audrey to sleep before Aaron goes to bed, but she perks up every time she hears Aaron's voice, even though her bedroom door is closed. She is so over-tired from not taking any naps longer than 45 minutes that she starts crying inconsolably. Aaron melts down at bedtime and makes matters worse. Thom reads Aaron stories by himself because I'm still trying to get Audrey to bed. I finally get her to sleep after Aaron goes down, only for her to wake up crying while we're trying to eat a very late dinner. We take turns eating and consoling her and the house is finally quiet around 9pm. I'm exhausted and grumpy and resent that Thom gets to leave the house every day by himself.
18 February 2010
14 February 2010
Learning to count to 100
This video is probably 6 weeks old. He still can't count to 100 on his own, but the other day I heard him count "29, 30!" instead of "29, 20-10".
Aaron in the bath
This is a video I took around Christmas time the first time Aaron played with his new bath letters from Kim. I was trying to get him to talk about his new doctor's kit she also gave him, since he loves his doctor's kit. But he was being silly. (The new stethescope is blue.)
Bedtime
For about a week, maybe 6 weeks ago, Audrey slept through the night. Not just midnight to 5am, which is technically sleeping through the night, but I was sleeping through the night. But she stopped that and started waking up again at night. Sometimes just once, often twice, and on bad nights, she might wake up 3 times, but at least one of those times might be before I go to bed. She's still young and as long as she goes back to sleep between feedings, it's not a problem for me at all.
The worst part was she started having a hard time going down to bed. Maybe 3 weeks ago, I got tired of walking her around and just put her in her crib while I went to get in my pajamas and give my arms a rest. She was awake, but not crying, so I didn't go back to her. She put herself to sleep within about 20-30 minutes. I was excited. I thought we'd reached a turning point and wouldn't have to help her get to sleep anymore.
But it ended up just being that one night. I found myself more and more having to walk her around at bedtime, between 7 and 7:30pm. She'd eventually fall asleep only to wake up again between 8 and 8:30, quickly escalating into full out crying. Thom would try to comfort her but after 10 minutes of her getting more and more upset, I'd give in and nurse her - a habit I don't want to get into.
At the same time, Aaron was having a hard time going to bed, too. After dinner, almost every night, he has to poop. He usually plays at his kitchen and goes. (He says he is making french toast. Thom said he doesn't want any of that french toast.) He has a bunch of bottles and spice containers and he has a routine with his kitchen playing and he wants to finish up before getting ready for bed and didn't like to stop half-way through. But he will also stall big time. It was to the point where he'd be melting down about 75% of the time before bed when we told him it was time for a diaper change and pajamas. He'd say he had "more poop" even though we were pretty sure he didn't. Thom was getting frustrated with him.
Between the two of them, I started to dread bedtime. It was stressful with Audrey crying, with Aaron having meltdowns, or just not listening to Thom when they were getting ready for bed. We tried taking away some of Aaron's bedtime stories - he normally gets 3, but bad behavior would cut that down to 2 or even just 1. At first this was some incentive because he hated to lose a story. After losing one book, he'd usually do much better the next night. But then he'd start whining in the bathroom after doing something he shouldnt' have done: "Want three stories!" Over and over and over.
But then 2 things happened. One day, after a bad bedtime routine with Aaron, I spoke to him after nap time when I changed his diaper. I said that if he sat still like he was with me when Papa changed him at bedtime, Papa would be happy. (One of the issues is that he'd squirm and put his feet on Thom during a poopy diaper change.) Later that evening, Thom and Aaron went to the store and Thom had a talk with him, too. He explained that he doesn't like to get mad at him and that they needed to work together to get ready for bed. So that night went very smoothly. And things started to go better.
But Aaron was still often reluctant to go get ready for bed in the evening. This is where I have Kim to thank. We have a digital kitchen timer. Months ago, it went off for something while Aaron was pooping before nap time and Kim told Aaron it was a timer for him and said "Oh, there's the timer. Time to change your diaper!" And he went willingly. So a few weeks ago, she set it for him intentionally when he was stalling and told me how well it worked. So we started setting the timer at night when Aaron kept saying he had more poop. The timer is MAGIC! The timer goes off, he announces it's time to change his diaper and trots off to the bathroom. Some nights, he even tells us to set the timer. I love the timer. Aaron still acts up during the bathroom routine, but he generally does pretty well. I worry the magic of the timer will wear off, but it's been working for 2 weeks or so.
So then the only issue was Audrey. She kept waking up not long after we got Aaron down and more often than not, I'd end up nursing her to get her back to sleep. I thought she might be teething since she drools so much and is often chewing on her fingers. And she probably is teething, but I don't think that is what wakes her up. I had a breakthrough with her this week. On Thursday, she took 2 naps in the morning of about 45 minutes (her average). Then Kim put her down at 2 right before she left for the day. She stirred at 2:45pm and I was expecting to go get her. She rarely sleeps past 45 minutes, even though she wakes up tired. Generally, in the afternoon, I'd get her, come back to my computer to work, and let her fall asleep in my chest while I worked one-handed. But that day, she didn't wake up. She ended up sleeping until 4:30pm! A daytime record.
That evening, I got her ready for bed around 6:30pm before I fed her. Then I held her on my lap during dinner and jiggled her. She fell asleep at the table, no fussing at all. I put her down in her crib and she slept until 1:30am. I figured it couldn't be coincidence. The way she'd been acting at bedtime was like she was overtired. The long nap seemed to give her the sleep she needed and she was able to go to bed and stay asleep. So on Friday, I stayed in and put Audrey down for 2 naps in the morning and she took a longer nap in the afternoon again. And she went to sleep easily. On Saturday, same thing. She did have a harder time going to sleep last night, but I ended up putting her in bed awake and she put herself to sleep. And stayed asleep.
I don't know if she just turned a corner on the sleep train and can now take longer naps which keeps her from getting overtired. But I suspect that since I or Kim often take her and Aaron out in the morning, she ends up just catnapping in the car and not getting good morning naps since she'd wake up when she got out of the car. So after the experience Thursday, I've made her naps more of a priority. I let her get her first morning nap yesterday before taking her and Aaron to a story time, and then when she fell asleep in the car on the way home, I let her finish her nap in her carseat in her bedroom. Whatever it is, I hope this trend continues. Because for the last 3 nights, bedime hasn't been stressful and it's been nice.
The worst part was she started having a hard time going down to bed. Maybe 3 weeks ago, I got tired of walking her around and just put her in her crib while I went to get in my pajamas and give my arms a rest. She was awake, but not crying, so I didn't go back to her. She put herself to sleep within about 20-30 minutes. I was excited. I thought we'd reached a turning point and wouldn't have to help her get to sleep anymore.
But it ended up just being that one night. I found myself more and more having to walk her around at bedtime, between 7 and 7:30pm. She'd eventually fall asleep only to wake up again between 8 and 8:30, quickly escalating into full out crying. Thom would try to comfort her but after 10 minutes of her getting more and more upset, I'd give in and nurse her - a habit I don't want to get into.
At the same time, Aaron was having a hard time going to bed, too. After dinner, almost every night, he has to poop. He usually plays at his kitchen and goes. (He says he is making french toast. Thom said he doesn't want any of that french toast.) He has a bunch of bottles and spice containers and he has a routine with his kitchen playing and he wants to finish up before getting ready for bed and didn't like to stop half-way through. But he will also stall big time. It was to the point where he'd be melting down about 75% of the time before bed when we told him it was time for a diaper change and pajamas. He'd say he had "more poop" even though we were pretty sure he didn't. Thom was getting frustrated with him.
Between the two of them, I started to dread bedtime. It was stressful with Audrey crying, with Aaron having meltdowns, or just not listening to Thom when they were getting ready for bed. We tried taking away some of Aaron's bedtime stories - he normally gets 3, but bad behavior would cut that down to 2 or even just 1. At first this was some incentive because he hated to lose a story. After losing one book, he'd usually do much better the next night. But then he'd start whining in the bathroom after doing something he shouldnt' have done: "Want three stories!" Over and over and over.
But then 2 things happened. One day, after a bad bedtime routine with Aaron, I spoke to him after nap time when I changed his diaper. I said that if he sat still like he was with me when Papa changed him at bedtime, Papa would be happy. (One of the issues is that he'd squirm and put his feet on Thom during a poopy diaper change.) Later that evening, Thom and Aaron went to the store and Thom had a talk with him, too. He explained that he doesn't like to get mad at him and that they needed to work together to get ready for bed. So that night went very smoothly. And things started to go better.
But Aaron was still often reluctant to go get ready for bed in the evening. This is where I have Kim to thank. We have a digital kitchen timer. Months ago, it went off for something while Aaron was pooping before nap time and Kim told Aaron it was a timer for him and said "Oh, there's the timer. Time to change your diaper!" And he went willingly. So a few weeks ago, she set it for him intentionally when he was stalling and told me how well it worked. So we started setting the timer at night when Aaron kept saying he had more poop. The timer is MAGIC! The timer goes off, he announces it's time to change his diaper and trots off to the bathroom. Some nights, he even tells us to set the timer. I love the timer. Aaron still acts up during the bathroom routine, but he generally does pretty well. I worry the magic of the timer will wear off, but it's been working for 2 weeks or so.
So then the only issue was Audrey. She kept waking up not long after we got Aaron down and more often than not, I'd end up nursing her to get her back to sleep. I thought she might be teething since she drools so much and is often chewing on her fingers. And she probably is teething, but I don't think that is what wakes her up. I had a breakthrough with her this week. On Thursday, she took 2 naps in the morning of about 45 minutes (her average). Then Kim put her down at 2 right before she left for the day. She stirred at 2:45pm and I was expecting to go get her. She rarely sleeps past 45 minutes, even though she wakes up tired. Generally, in the afternoon, I'd get her, come back to my computer to work, and let her fall asleep in my chest while I worked one-handed. But that day, she didn't wake up. She ended up sleeping until 4:30pm! A daytime record.
That evening, I got her ready for bed around 6:30pm before I fed her. Then I held her on my lap during dinner and jiggled her. She fell asleep at the table, no fussing at all. I put her down in her crib and she slept until 1:30am. I figured it couldn't be coincidence. The way she'd been acting at bedtime was like she was overtired. The long nap seemed to give her the sleep she needed and she was able to go to bed and stay asleep. So on Friday, I stayed in and put Audrey down for 2 naps in the morning and she took a longer nap in the afternoon again. And she went to sleep easily. On Saturday, same thing. She did have a harder time going to sleep last night, but I ended up putting her in bed awake and she put herself to sleep. And stayed asleep.
I don't know if she just turned a corner on the sleep train and can now take longer naps which keeps her from getting overtired. But I suspect that since I or Kim often take her and Aaron out in the morning, she ends up just catnapping in the car and not getting good morning naps since she'd wake up when she got out of the car. So after the experience Thursday, I've made her naps more of a priority. I let her get her first morning nap yesterday before taking her and Aaron to a story time, and then when she fell asleep in the car on the way home, I let her finish her nap in her carseat in her bedroom. Whatever it is, I hope this trend continues. Because for the last 3 nights, bedime hasn't been stressful and it's been nice.
13 February 2010
Valentine craft
It occurred to me Wednesday after nap time to have Aaron make Kim a Valentine card. Thursday is the last day he'd see her before Valentine's, so we didn't have much time. I couldn't find the camera to take a picture of his first Valentine card, so I called my dad to see if I'd left it there (since this is the same day we went to see my parents in the morning). I discovered it was buried in the diaper bag after all. But by then, Aaron wanted to talk to Grandpa, so I got this picture. We actually don't celebrate Valentine's ourselves, but since Aaron likes crafts, it was a good reason to make something for Kim. If I'd planned better, I would have had him make cards for Grandma and Grandpa, too.
On Thursday, I found some heart-shaped cookie cutters and suggested to Kim they could make cut-out cookies, which she thought was a good idea. It was Aaron's first time baking or really even helping in the kitchen. I kind of have hangups about kids in the kitchen. I don't like the mess, I worry about them getting dirty hands on the food, etc. So it was good to see how Kim handled it. She let Aaron taste various ingredients (he likes salt, which seems to be a trait from his father's side of the family) and she let him help way more than I would have. He LOVED it. And he loved eating the cookies later.
Sounds like a planet!
This is Aaron's new phrase. After dinner earlier this week I talked about what we were going to do after he got down from the table before bedtime. I asked "Does that sound like a plan?" He said "Sounds like a planet!" However, further inquiry did not reveal which planet.
5 months old
I went to visit my parents on Wednesday, which was Audrey's 5 month birthday. She had a great time with Grandma while Aaron and Grandpa played with the trains.
Audrey, 4 1/2 months
Kim and aaron were headed out to some outdoor activity and it was chilly out, so I put warm pants and a jacket over her footed jammies. And then Kim covered her with a blanket, too.
Tummy time!
Getting sleepy.Making a nature collage
Two weeks ago while Audrey was napping, Kim took Aaron for a walk through the back yard to collect items for a nature collage. He carried his little bucket from the sandbox the whole time and enjoyed putting together this collage. Audrey woke up when they came back from collecting and sat outside with them. She seems to like the outdoors like her brother.
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