Follow up on TV post

Yesterday I wrote a post about why I don't let Aaron watch TV. I mentioned my own concerns about a correlation between increased TV watching by very young children and higher rates of ADHD and autism. I said it was just conjecture, and it is. But I just came across a very intersting paper written by some guys at Cornell in 2006 who theorize that television contributes to autism.

Their research isn't foolproof and they point out the potential problems with how they conducted the study. But they certainly make some interesting points, including citing a previous study that found a correlation between TV watching and ADHD.

Their paper is here for anyone interested.

Nap time

Aaron woke up early this morning. Before 6, sadly for us. Normally he goes down for a nap around 9am. Since he woke up early, however, I put hiim back down for his morning nap around 8am. More than half the time, he will fall asleep within 20 minutes. Usually we have to go and give him a new pacifier once or twice before that happens.

This morning he was taking awhile to settle down. Finally, I went down to my room to get dressed and when I was done, he had quieted down. So I peeked in to see if he was asleep and this is what I found.

After snapping a couple of photos, I respositioned him since I didn't think he'd sleep well in this configuration. Unfortunately, he still only slept about 40 minutes at most and woke up sobbing. He'll go a week or more taking 1 1/2 or 2 hour morning naps, and then he'll have a day like today. I'm guessing the molars he is working on are the culprit. They are so close to breaking through, but aren't quite there. Hopefully he will get some relief soon.

On a positive note, my little boy has learned to sit up on his own! Thom has been working with him. Not exactly the way we learned in PT, but it worked. When Aaron was sitting up, Thom would lay him on his side and then get him to push himself up. At first, he didn't put him all the way down, just sort of leaned him far to his side. But as Aaron got better, Thom would put him further down on his side. And now Aaron can roll around on the floor and then push himself up to a sitting position all on his own.

I'm focused on crawling now. Oddly, I have found that Aaron seems closer to crawling on the hardwood floors. On the carpet, he rolls, but on the hardwood floors, he stays on his belly most of the time. And he likes to play with this wheeled ottoman we have in that room. When he pushes it, it moves away from him, so he has to struggle to go after it. Mostly he just pushes himself backwards, but I think it is only a matter of time before he gets the hang of it.

In Defense of No TV

I was reading some postings online recently by moms about kids watching television. Infants and toddlers to be exact. Everyone posting was in favor of letting kids under 2 watch TV. I've heard it over and over again "I wasn't going to let my kids watch TV before 2, but..." or "I was really strict about TV with my first, but gave up after my second one." TV watching and the effects of media on young children in general has become a major concern of mine, especially now that I have my own child.

I know many good moms who let their infants and toddler watch TV and I don't judge them for it. Like me, they are doing what they think is best for their kids. But the moms that were posting seemed to think that moms who don't let their kids watch TV were putting on airs. I don't feel that I'm being stuck up for not letting Aaron watch TV. I've been doing a lot of reading on this subject and feel pretty strongly about my reasons for not letting Aaron watch TV at this point in his life. So I would like to present my side.

For anyone who doesn't know me, we do have a TV in the house. Just one. None in the bedroom. And we also have a movie screen and projector in our living room. We like TV and movies. I know there is a minority of parents out there opposed to their kids watching TV that think TV is bad all around and don't watch it themselves. But we use it for down time in the evenings after work. It's not the best use of our time, but it's an easy way to unwind at the end of the day. We don't watch TV during the day, though, not even on weekends, so keeping the TV off while Aaron is awake has never been an issue.

Part of my reasoning for not letting Aaron watch TV before the age of 2 is due to the recommendation of the American Academy of Pediatrics. But even before I knew about their guidelines on TV, I didn't think it was a good idea. I've seen how kids, not just infants and toddlers, get sucked into TV. They sit passively, almost zombie-like while they watch. They don't hear their parents talking to them. They whine when the TV is turned off for dinner or bedtime. I couldn't imagine how that could be good for them - or their parents.

I had also started to wonder if the increase in ADHD could be related to kids watching more TV. Yeah, I grew up watching TV, but I started watching Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers and Captain Kangaroo when I was maybe 3 years old. Mom didn't stick me in front of the TV starting at 6 months, and there wasn't kid's programming on 24/7 like there is now, so our TV watching was limited. I think the increase in issues like ADHD and autism could very well have an environmental factor, and so I can't help but look at what things parents do today that is different from when I was a kid. And increased TV watching among infants and toddlers is one difference. (I realize this is all conjecture - I'm just explaining my thought process.)

So initially I was worried about behavioral effects television might have on Aaron. But then I read Buy, Buy, Baby by Susan Gregory Thomas which talks about how children's shows are used to market products to children as young as infants and I started to worry more about how else TV might influence him. She refers to studies they have done that show that all that 1 year olds can really learn from TV shows is character recognition. Which is great for companies trying to sell products with licensed characters on them. Elmo was designed to appeal to babies and very young children. The result? Tickle-Me Elmo ends up being one of the hottest toys for that age range. Media companies sell the shows as educational so that parents think it is OK for their babies and toddlers to watch, but there isn't research to back up their claims.

And currently I'm reading Einstein Never Used Flashcards by Roberta Michnick Golinkoff and Kathy Hirsh-Pasek who explain that kids learn by interaction with adults and other kids. They learn language by pointing at things and having you respond by naming them. They don't learn passively by listening to language on TV. It's a fascinating book that explains how babies and young children learn and why you don't need gimmicky educational toys and programs to raise intelligent kids.

I'm also reading Consuming Kids by Susan Linn which is really a wake up call about how much the toy and media industries are trying to market to kids as young as infants and their parents. It is packed with examples and cites references on at least every page (I keep a bookmark in the back where the references are since I'm constantly looking to see where she gets her information). I personally think marketing to toddlers and infants is unconscionable and was disgusted by some of the blatant practices in the industry (they actually have an annual trade show for marketers just on how to market to children where they teach people how to take advantage of the nag factor!)

These books along with my own observances have really strengthened my resolve not to let Aaron watch TV until he is at least 2, and even then, I see no hurry.

There are two main arguments I've head for letting very young children watch TV. The first one cited is usually that it is the only way mom can get any time to herself or take care of basic tasks around the house like laundry or making dinner. The second one is that there are shows on TV designed to be educational for 1 and 2 year olds.

I don't know about other moms, but Aaron takes 2 naps a day, totaling 2-4 hours. I use that time to work on my business, but if I wasn't working, those naps would give me ample time to myself. I don't think I need much during the day - it's not like Thom sits around reading novels at work and I also get down time in the evenings after Aaron is in bed. As for chores around the house, I've found folding laundry is one of the easiest chores to do with Aaron. He either sits on the floor with me and plays with toys while I'm folding, or I let him pull clothes out of the basket. Either way, I can get the laundry folded and he is entertained. And perhaps more importantly, he is learning about doing chores! When I'm making dinner (or cleaning up the kitchen), he is content to play in his playpen for 20 minutes or so, which is generally enough time to get something easy prepared (I save more time-consuming meals for weekends when Thom can help out).

As for shows being educational, I don't think there is research to support that. And even if a baby can mimic actions seen on TV or a toddler parrots phrases he or she hears, that doesn't mean it is more educational than spending time with mom or dad or another care giver. In fact, studies suggest children learn more and learn more quickly from interaction with a caregiver than from TV. So I don't think there is a need for infants and toddlers to watch TV.

I think the things we do with our youngsters helps them form habits. For example, I started reading books to Aaron before he showed any interest in them - actually before he was born (mostly just so he'd hear my voice). And starting at 6 months, I made it a habit to read every night before bedtime. At first, he didn't seem to care, but now that it has become habit, he enjoys turning the pages and will point at pictures and "talk" about them.

Watching TV isn't a habit I want Aaron to form. He will pick it up eventually, and that is soon enough. Any time that he spends watching TV is time he could be spending doing something more productive. If he needs down time, we go for a walk or sit outside or read stories. And TV is just not something he needs. In fact, in the year we've had him, TV has never been an issue. There has never been a time we've felt like "If only we let him watch TV, things would be much easier."

Will watching TV harm him? I don't know for sure, and it certainly depends on what he watches. But why chance it? That's an argument I heard a lot for why women don't do, eat or drink certain things during pregnancy. A little wine might be OK, they think, but why take a chance? I feel the same way about TV. The likelihood of it having a negative effect seems much more likely to me than it having a positive effect.

So I don't mean to sound like a snob for saying my son doesn't watch TV when you ask if he likes Teletubbies or Dora the Explorer. I've based my decision on a lot of reading and thinking and I'm not just hopping on the latest elitist bandwagon. I try to limit my elitism to voting for Barak Obama. :) If you made it this far, thank you for reading.

Physical Therapy II

So after we took Aaron to physical therapy a few weeks ago, the physical therapist recommended we come in once a week for 4-6 weeks. But first they had to submit to the insurance company for approval. Once that happened, they would call us to schedule his next appointment.

Week after week went by with no call. I was starting to wonder, and then today we got something in the mail from his medical group. The insurance company denied coverage. They went into great detail about the situation, making it clear they understood we had a 1 year-old with a developmental delay, but that the diagnosis submitted by his doctor did not provide evidence that it was "caused by a specified illness, injury, disease, trauma, or surgery". So basically, they don't cover physical therapy except in those circumstances. They also state that our plan doesn't cover "physical therapy services that are primarily oriented towards treating a social, developmental or learning problem rather than a medical condition."

Well, OK. From what I've read, crawling is unpredictable and is not considered a standard milestone like sitting and walking, since some babies skip crawling and go straight to walking or just scoot around on their behinds. So maybe it's not a big deal, right? But at some point, if my kid is not crawling or walking, shouldn't the insurance company pay for physical therapy even if it is just a developmental problem and not caused by trauma or a "medical condition"?

At 10 months, I wasn't really worried. The doctor told us she wasn't really worried, she was just being cautious. But at 12 months, with him still not crawling, I'm starting to get concerned. Thom has been working with him on getting him to sit up on his own and he's starting to get the hang of it, but he's not getting up on his knees to crawl and although he's showing some interest in pulling himself up on the coffee table to reach something on top, he doesn't support himself well on his legs. He almost seems to have regressed when it comes to supporting himself on his feet since we stopped using the Jumperoo 3 months ago (which we did out of concern it was affecting his development).

I'm still not as concerned as I would be if he was slow in other areas. But he's doing great on the social level and his motor skills continue to improve. In fact, lately, he's been learning to stack his blocks. He has successfully stacked up to 4 of his alphabet blocks, which takes a steady hand. I don't think I've ever seen a one year old who stacks blocks instead of knocking them down. And although he is still not talking, he babbles quite a bit and it seems like only a matter of time before he utters his first real word (we don't count the time he said "Dada" a couple of weeks ago since even though it sounded different than his other dadadada's, we don't think there was any meaning behind it.)

So we'll keep working on our own to get him to crawl and to pull himself up. If we can't get him crawling, though, we'll consider paying for physical therapy out of pocket. There are instructions with the letter we got on how to appeal the denial, but I've been down that road with my old insurance company over a disputed claim, and don't have high hopes for them to change their minds. Hopefully he is just slow and will figure out it, though.

Although he doesn't crawl, Aaron gets around pretty well by rolling, pivoting around and doing sort of an army crawl with his knees out to the side (but he gets one arm caught under him, so he can't get very far this way). He likes to try to get into the kitchen (from his carpeted play area in the dining room), which we don't like since the floor is usually dirty and he likes to go straight for the trash can. But I think he especially likes the hardwood floors because he can slide backwards on them. Here's a video of him doing just that.

Nature vs Nurture

I often get compliments on how good-natured Aaron is or how well-behaved he is in public. I have to say, he is a pretty easy baby. And although I seem to constantly worry that he will have a melt down in public, he never does.

So as a scientific-minded parent, I have to wonder, how much is nature vs. nurture. A neighbor recently told me that I must be doing a good job since Aaron is so content. Am I? I often wonder that, or whether we just got lucky.

However, we have made a conscious effort to do certain things, which I think has had an effect on Aaron. We try to be calm and relaxed around Aaron, even when he is upset so that our anxiety doesn't rub off on him. (I haven't always succeeded at that, but it's been a conscious goal.) We also tried to keep toys to a minimum when he was younger and to give him simple toys that weren't overstimulating. As he gets older and more sophisticated with his play, we are introducing more complex and noisy toys, but as an infant, he was happy playing with just a few things over and over so we let him.

We've also tried to take him out and expose him to new things outside the house. When we go out, we take a couple of emergency toys in his diaper bag, but unlike a lot of parents I've seen who are out with their kids, we didn't attach multiple toys to his stroller to entertain him when we were out. Instead, he is entertained by the sights and sounds around him. I think his interest in other people and places is a big part of what makes him so well-behaved in public. But whether that is a natural part of his personality or a result of not having toys to play with in his stroller, that I don't know.

What I do know is that we've tried to instill certain traits in him by how we respond to him and the environment we put him in. And it seems to work for him.

I would certainly like to take credit for his contentedness, but somehow it seems presumptuous to do so. With only one baby in our sample size, it's hard to draw conclusions. Given a different baby with a different combination of our genes, could we produce similar results? That remains to be seen (hopefully sometime in 2009).

Here are some shots of Aaron with Auntie Lia. His sitter Katrina lets him play with her sunglasses, so when he saw Lia's sunglasses on top of her head, he wanted them. She obliged.

Birthday Party

On Sunday, we hosted a spring birthday party for my family. Almost all of Aaron's cousins were here. But before everyone arrived, we took some pictures of Aaron in his new birthday outfit - linen pants and collared shirt. He was quite a little ham for the camera. There are a few more photos from the set here.

We celebrated birthdays for all of his cousins except Alex (who has a summer birthday), Grandpa, myself, Thom, Aaron (of course) and sister-in-law Barbara. With so many presents, it almost seemed like our Christmas gift

exchange.

Aaron got some really cute books from his Aunties Lia and Theresa and their families. Baby! Baby! by Vicky Ceelen juxtaposes animal photos with infants posed similarly. It's adorable! No text, just pictures, but Aaron loved to point out the baby on each page. He also got Monday the Bullfrog by Matthew Van Fleet, which is part stuffed frog, part book, part puppet, and Sandra Boynton's Moo Cow Book, which is more toy than book, but very cute. But the coolest book, in my opinion, was Gallup! by Rufus Butler Seder which has images that seem to move as you turn the pages. If you have kids or need a gift for a little one, you have to check out this book!

Aaron also got some cute summer clothes from his Uncle Jim (pictured here with Aaron) and his family. (Prior to his birthday, Aaron also got some great gifts from friends and distant family. Aunt Janine and Uncle Bruce sent Aaron a CD of Peter and the Wolf - the same version Thom listened to as a kid - and a cute figurine of mice selling apples from a road-side stand, just like Thom and his siblings did back in Ohio for so many summers.)

After presents and lunch, it was time for cake! I made a gluten-free chocolate roll for my niece and nephews with celiac disease and a Kentucky Butter Cake (search Allrecipes.com for the recipe) that was loaded with flour, sugar, butter and eggs. That is what we gave to Aaron. Thom, being the more cautious parent, only gave Aaron a portion of the piece I had cut for him. Aaron seemed to like it.

He was so tired at that point, that it was probably wise not to let him have the whole piece. After his cake, we put Aaron down for a nap, which he took without protest, despite the fact that all his cousins were still here. I think all the activity wore him out. A few more photos of him eating cake are here.

After his nap, we went to Target for a few essentials and to look for his new car seat. Now that he is 1 year old and over 20 pounds, we can switch him to a forward-facing seat. We decided to get the Graco Nautilus 3-in-1 carseat since it should be the last carseat we need for him. It converts to a highback booster seat and then a backless booster seat and should last him until he doesn't need a booster seat anymore (unless they change the laws again and require them to use a booster seat until they go off to college!) Unfortunately, although it is available on Target.com, it is not available in the store. So we will have to order one online. They say we should keep him rear-facing as long as possible, and since he still fits in his infant seat (thank goodness Thom had the foresight to get the larger version that lasts until 30 lbs) there isn't any hurry to get the new seat.

Afterwards, we walked down to Toys R Us to get a birthday treat. I seem to be on a Toys R Us mailing list, presumably because I registered at Babies R Us for our baby shower. They mailed me a birthday planner about a month ago, and then closer to his birthday, Geoffrey the giraffe sent Aaron a birthday card with a $3 off coupon and promises of special treatment if we came into the store close to his birthday. So although Toys R Us is about the last place on earth I want to spend any time, I wanted to see if we'd get a free toy or something. And to find something to use my coupon on. We ended up buying a huge (100 oz) bottle of bubbles that was 3 bucks and change after using the coupon. I almost bought a cheaper set of 3 bottles of bubbles, but they were made in China and I noticed at the last minute that unlike every other bottle of bubbles, they didn't say "non-toxic" which worried me. The bubbles we ended up buying were made in the USA, if you can believe it.

At the register, we learned that by going over to the customer service desk we could get a free balloon (that says "Geoffrey's Birthday Club") and a crown and they would announce his birthday over the PA system. They didn't announce his birthday (which was fine with us, but we did get a free mylar baloon and a crown, both of which Aaron showed some interest in, but not as much in the balloon as I would have expected.

When we got home, Aaron was pretty tired, so we gave him some dinner and got him ready for bed. And then Thom vaccuumed up the mess on the floor from having 8 kids and 10 kids eating in the house.

And now I think the birthday festivities are over. Whew!

Mystery solved!

Aaron's high chair faces out the back window. You can see two neighbors' yards from there, the cul de sac their houses are on, and a little strip of the road that goes past the cul de sac.

Often, when we are feeding him, he points emphatically out the window, often accompanied by a "Zhuh" sound. We look out the window, expecting to see someone out in the yard or a bird, or maybe a car on the cul de sac (he loves to see the garbage trucks up there on Monday mornings). But usually, we see nothing. A little while later, he does it again. I just figured he was unusually excited about the trees or the wind chime, or something else that is just always outside.

But on Friday, we figured it out. I was feeding Aaron and Thom was sitting with us, facing out the window. A car drove by on the road above the neighbors houses. Aaron pointed. I turned to look, the car was gone. But Thom had seen it. So all those times he emphatically pointed out the window, he was most likely seeing cars drive by, but they were long gone by the time we turned around. Suddenly he doesn't seem so crazy!

New swing

Our main gift to Aaron for his birthday was a wooden toddler horse swing. Since Aaron's birthday was on a Thursday, Thom ended up taking Friday off of work for a long weekend. He got the hardware he needed to hang the swing and we let Aaron test drive it before his afternoon nap.

His new sitter, Katrina was babysitting, and she was helping us get him to smile. Katrina is a lot of fun and he seems to really get along with her.

In the slideshow below, you'll see him looking off to the side and making funny faces at Katrina.

Although he seemed unsure at first, the swing seems to be a big hit. He even enjoys swinging in his swing while his Daddy sits in the porch swing nearby. He has lots of things to look at and to talk about. I just wish I understood what he was saying! Because it sounds very exciting.

1st Birthday!

Thursday was Aaron's first birthday. He woke up in a good mood and we started the morning off with a gift from us.

We bought him a locks and latches box by Melissa & Doug. He can't do the locks and latches yet, but he likes to open and close the doors and put toys inside and take them out. The age range on the toy is 4+, but I think a 4 year old would be bored with it. I can see that it might not be safe for an unsupervised 1 year old, but I think 4 is pushing it.

Below is a slideshow of him opening his gift and playing with it.

Although Thom had to work, Grandma and Grandpa came up to have lunch with Aaron and I. We went to a local french bakery where Aaron had some croissant and a bite of my cheesecake. Afterwards, Grandma and Grandpa came back to our house for a few hoorays!

Day 365

Today Aaron was 365 days old. The day did not start off well. He woke up crying before 6am. Normally, he wakes up around 6, but just jabbers and plays in his crib until 6:30 or later.

He must be excited about his impending birthday because he then didn't want to take his morning nap. We think we missed his window of opportunity - we should have put him down earlier since he woke up early. He was so completely undone, we had to give up trying. At 9:30, I took him for a mile and a half walk. He finally fell asleep half way through. I left him to sleep in his stroller in the foyer. He slept for 2 hours and only woke up when his sitter arrived.

Then he didn't take an afternoon nap, and it was by some miracle that Thom managed to get him to sleep earlier. But before we tried to put him to sleep, I took these pictures of him in his sleep sack, in his newly decorated bedroom. He hammed it up for the camera.

Aaron's bedroom

As Aaron's first birthday approaches, I started to feel bad about never finishing decorating his bedroom. Since he only sleeps in there, it never seemed as important as so many other chores, but his birthday became my motivation to get some things up on the walls.

My mom stitched Aaron a beautiful quilt that I've been wanting to hang up since before he was born, but we needed to put up a curtain rod to hang it from. Mom and Dad even gave us the curtain rod and hooks to hang it with, but somehow we always had other chores and activities to do on weekends and it never happened. But last weekend, Thom and I finally got it put up and the quilt looks great on the wall.

My original plan for Aaron's bedroom was to put up black and white photos of his grandparents, aunts and uncles. I thought this would help keep him from having stranger anxiety around family since everyone would be familiar. I've had a picture of Grandma and Grandpa and one of Uncle Jim and Aunt Barb hanging on the wall for months. But Auntie Lia had sent a photo of her and Uncle George that I hadn't printed out, so I finally did that, framed it and hung it up. I'm still waiting on my other siblings for photos I can use.

Another thing I've been planning to hang up is a string of Tibetan prayer flags that my sister-in-law Linnea brought Thom back from Nepal where she was stationed in the Peace Corps. I figured Aaron would like the colorful squares. So I put this around the window.

Clothes

The weather has been crazy this spring. One day we are running the furnace at night and the next day I'm almost ready to turn on the A/C! And then we have another cool spell.

This weekend, temps reached about 98 degrees at our house. I've been dressing Aaron in long sleeve onsies and pants. But suddenly as it is approaching 80 inside the house and I'm rummaging through his clothes looking for shorts and rompers. I thought I had a bunch of shorts in his 12 month clothes bag (I have his clothes organized into these giant vacuum seal bags and had a lot of 12 months stuff from hand-me-downs and stuff I bought on sale). But I found I only have a few pairs of shorts and one romper that fits him.

I've been tending to buy stuff when I see it on sale. Costco has great prices on Carter's clothing, so when we do our Costco run, I look to see what they have. (A few weeks ago I bought some nice cotton PJ sets that have a top, with coordinating pants and shorts.) I also like the sale rack at the Pumpkin Patch. And I recently bought him a cute outfit at The Children's Place for his 12 month photos - linen pants and a cotton shirt, under $16 on sale for both.

But I suddenly realized I need some shorts and rompers that will fit him this summer so I started looking online. I get (too) frequent e-mails from Kohl's announcing sales and went to check out their latest sale. Carter's rompers were on sale 2/$14, which is pretty good. But the shipping on the items I wanted to buy was over $11, which is a bit high. For some reason Kohl's charges per item vs. Old Navy (another favorite of mine) which charges only $5 for all orders. So on Kohl's, you are effectively punished for ordering lots of items. And to get free shipping, you have to spend $75, which is more than I wanted to spend on new clothes.

Anyway, with temps over 90, I didn't want to go to the Kohl's brick-and-mortar, so I went to eBay. I bid on and won 4 auctions last night for boy's summer outfits in size 18 months, 3 from the same seller who combined shipping on the orders. From that seller, I got 6 rompers, all in seemingly good condition, for a total of about $23, including shipping. The other order was for 17 pieces and was less that $30 with shipping. I didn't like everything in the lot, but figured what I did like was worth at least $30.

Oh, and I also recently bought on babycenter.com a little 2 piece swim suit on sale (two piece since the little shirt has UVA/UVB sun protection) so we can take Aaron to the pool and the beach soon. He loves his bath so much, I can't wait to see what he thinks of being immersed in water.

So now we are set for awhile. We already have lots of pants in 12-18 months, which we'll want for crawling, but as the days heat up, I think Aaron will prefer shorts, even if he gets a few rug burns on his knees.

Storytime with the neighbors

Yesterday, we had our neighbors over for a potluck dinner. It was so nice out, we had appetizers on the patio. Aaron sat with us and snacked on some chicken sausage (which he seemed to enjoy) and then I got him ready for bed before we served dinner. Once he was in his jammies, I brought out some board books and gave everyone a chance to read him a story before bed. Brad read Your Personal Penguin by Sandra Boynton, one of our favorites.

Vicki read Barnyard Dance also by Sandra Boynton, and a gift from Brad and Vicki last summer. Vicki had a more animated ready style which put a smile on Aaron's face.

Aaron was checking out who was reading the story. (A big difference from the last time Vicki held Aaron on the back patio.)

Dian read Ms. Spider's Tea Party (which was a gift from his nanny Julie).

The back of the book is just as important as the inside.

Hans and Aaron went through Sheep in a Jeep. I say "went through" since Aaron just turned pages with Hans' assistance. Hans didn't need to even read the story to make it entertaining and as fast as Aaron was turning pages, it would have been difficult to follow along!

Renate read the classis Goodnight Moon which, on the nights we read it, we save until the last book.

Aaron seemed at ease with everyone. I think he has skipped the stranger anxiety phase. After stories, he went to bed and we all had dinner and stayed up past 11 playing Trivial Pursuit, the 20th Anniversary edition. I can't remember the last time I was up so late voluntarily.

Long week

With our new babysitter home on spring break this week, I had Aaron to myself for the entire week. I can't remember the last time that was the case. Julie took off around Christmas time, but Thom was home from work, so I had his help. I know a lot of moms spend every week with their kids, so it is not like I did anything exceptional, but it sure felt like a long week. I'm really glad I don't work full-time away from Aaron, but I also know I'm not cut out to be a stay-at-home mom. As much as I love playing with him and watching him learn and grow, I have to admit I long for his naps so I can do some work.

I've had very little time to work this week, which has been frustrating because I am very close to finishing up a product I am about to release. But it is hard to get any work done when I can only work when he is asleep. Although I don't usually work when he is awake, I did break that rule this week and brought my laptop out into the dining room while he was playing. He is very self-entertaining so he can play by himself for long stretches with just a little interaction from me. I really don't like to do that, but I feel like I do spend a lot of time focused on him when he is awake and I'm probably not causing long term damage by working while he plays for an hour or so a day the one week I don't have a nanny for him.

I'm also still looking for another sitter for Aaron. I'm meeting someone tomorrow and another candidate on Monday. Both sound good, but it's always hard to judge just from the phone interview.

I was going to e-mail Julie this week to see if she missed Aaron as much as we miss her, but before I had a chance, she e-mailed me! She misses Aaron and wants to come play with him for an hour when she has a chance. So it looks like she'll come by one day within the next week. I think Aaron will like that. I'm sure he felt her absence this week, but has no way to communicate it.

Physical Therapy

Well we finally went in for Aaron's physical therapy exam. It took many phone calls to his pediatrician's office to get the prescription written to make the appointment (which she failed to give us at the office when she told us to go in for a PT exam). I was going to just give up and wait until his 12 month visit if he still wasn't crawling, but when I called at 11 months to make his 12 month appointment, all the peds were booked 2 months out, so he won't see his doctor until over a month past his birthday. If we didn't like his pediatrician so much and if the office wasn't so close to home, I might want to switch providers.

Anyway, the appointment was at 9am and Thom managed to meet us down there. The physical therapist was on time and friendly and asked us some questions before observing Aaron and then showing us some things we can do with him. The 3 areas of concern are the fact that he's not crawling, he's not sitting himself up once he is on his tummy, and he is not pulling to a stand.

When Aaron is on his tummy, his legs are bowed out like a frog. To help him learn to crawl, we are supposed to push his knees together and get him up on his hands and knees. She recommends sort of kneeling behind him and using our knees to hold his knees in together, so we have our hands free to help hold him back on his knees. Alternatively, we can put him over a leg or over a rolled up towel to help support him as he gets used to being up on his knees.

For sitting, we are supposed to help him get into a sitting position from his side. It involves a combination of getting him to reach for a toy as we move it in the direction he is going and assisting him up (he should use one arm to push himself up).

For standing, we are supposed to put a toy up on a surface, like the ottoman we have in his play area, and get him to try to pull up to get it. Since he is easily entertained by anything, we need to remove or hide his other toys so that the toy on the ottoman is really the only thing available to him. The problem with this is that he is entertained by the plastic plugs in the wall outlet, so it's nearly impossible to remove everything from the room of interest besides the toy on the ottoman.

But for the first week, we are supposed to focus on crawling and sitting. She wants us to come back for 4-6 weeks, with homework assignments in between, while she charts his progress. But first they need to clear it with the insurance company.

I don't reallly mind the physical therapy, or having to go back, but it does feel a little silly to be trying to teach him things that seem to come naturally to other babies. And maybe he would figure it all out on his own eventually. He is definitely making slow progress. He used to fall over reaching for toys and then roll to get them once he fell over. But now, when he realizes the toy is out of reach, he does an intentional, controlled fall, in order to get to it. He has also been starting to push himself backwards, which I've heard some babies do before they figure out how to go forward.

The one thing that does concern us is that he seems so unhappy when we try to get him onto his knees. We worry that he might be in pain, that maybe there is something physically wrong. But it's hard to say. Usually when we are trying to get him on his knees, he is determined to roll over to get something and we are thwarting him, so he gets upset.

We'll keep you posted!

Babysitters are like men

My friend Tracey told me this when I told her I was looking for a new sitter for Aaron. All the good ones are taken or hard to find. It's so true. I found one sitter that has been here a few times, but she is going home for the summer, so I am still looking for another sitter.

I interviewed a candidate on Saturday. We met at the mall, since like a blind date, I don't want to have them come to my house before we meet. (Actually, I figure it is safer for both of us and since she doesn't know me, she might not want to come to my house sight unseen.) She seems qualified, but it's hard to be sure about someone from just one interview. She was going to send me her references and once I talked to them, I was going to have her come out for a test run to see if it is a good fit for everyone. She is looking for something long-term, which is great, because I want someone who can start now and work past the summer, even if the current sitter works out (since there are always gaps in schedules).

So I come home and I anxiously check my e-mail the rest of the day, looking for her references. I finally hear from her on Sunday. But in the meantime, I feel like the girl after a good date, waiting for the guy to call the next day, like he said he would. And I'm starting to wonder if she's not interested, did I screw up the interview, not offer enough money. Long story short, though, I still don't have her references. And on Care.com, you can tell how recentlly someone logged in and I can tell she's been online within the last day, so why doesn't she contact me?

I also feel the rejection every time I contact a Care.com member, explaining my situation and asking if they are interested, and then don't hear back from them. I think I probably only get a response 20% of the time. I'm so glad I'm married because I don't think I could date in the digital age, using dating services like match.com. It's depressing!

I know I should just keep looking (and I am), but it seems like it takes so much energy to consider someone - contacting them, setting up an initial interview, trying to reach their references, having them out for a second paid interview (a 2 hour "test run" to see if it is a good fit). So every time I find someone who seems like they could work, I put my effort into that and don't look too hard at who else is in the pool. I need some kind of speed dating for babysitters so I can consider several at once.

If you know anyone looking for a part-time nanny position near me, let me know!